The Blah Collection

...what happens to your breakfast cereal when you are called away by a 15-minute phone call, just after you have poured milk on it.

The Cambrdige Encyclopedia Of The English Language, Second Edition

Texten fuer 9 eurocent. Mit eigener Handynummer als Absender.
Ich kann die Gier der Mobilfunk Provider einfach nicht mehr unbeachtet in meinen Rachen stopfen. Textnachrichten fuer mehr als 15 cent? Up my arse.

Okay, it does indeed look like as I have to clean up with some clearly misleading believes from the world of storytelling:

If you read a book about Structure Of Stories or The Way Stories Work or from simliar kind then you are not automatically blessed with good storytelling. There is still a major difference between knowing theoretically how to build a house and actually building the damn fucker.
Knowing about structures of stories is a good thing, it certainly helps a lot. But remember: Other cultures have different views on story structures so there isn't a one-for-all rule.

A very good example about the irony of telling stories and its clichés is the film Adaptation by Charlie Kaufman & Spike Jonze.

The next person trying to scholar me in storytelling by referring to a “How to learn storytelling in so-and-so days” will definitely get his arse kicked.

Thanks for listening.

For years now they came out of their hideout every night, those little rats. Nobody knew what they wanted as the place here was long rotten and nothing valuable has been found for a long time. It was once a nice house with a wide garden, wonderful trees and a red roof. But now the only remainings were parts of the ground floor with the roof mostly gone. Once the last person left - because of a sudden death in the family – the house started to collapse, every year more and more…
But since then the rats came out every night, looked around as if they were searching for something and then quickly disappeared again.

One day a young little girl searching for her lost doll got lost near this rotten place. It was snowing, deepest December, and the poor little girl only wanted to save her doll from the cold. But now completely lost, it seams, tired from searching for the path, the little girl sat down on something what must have been the old fireplace of the house and began to cry. She came to search for her doll but now had to find herself lost, not knowing about this house, about the rats or where to go.

So night came quickly and the little girl shivered from fear and coldness, nearly wanting to give up.

But also this night – as every night – the rats came out of their hideout and circled around girl, who fell asleep by the time. First they started to walk around the girl – all in a circle – carefully watching the girl. They chitchatted in a tongue unknown for a short while – a trained listener would guess that they were discussing matters…

And out of a sudden they broke out of their chitchat. The rats split up and every single one ran into a different direction. Within minutes all of the little creatures returned and not one single one with empty hands. Together they carried all the pieces from the old fireplace together, others brought firewood, and with speed unbelievable for such tiny rats they rebuild it, stone by stone. Now, while some rats were starting a fire, others carried a basket of iced bred and even a cup without a handle or tea.

As the fire got larger and warmer the girl slowly awoke. First she thought she was dreaming, surrounded by rats! But then she realized it couldn’t be a dream as her doll was still lost…and at least in her dreams she would never let go of her doll.

Although curious about the rats the little girl was happy about the fire as she was freezing and nearly couldn’t feel her toes.
From a corner a basket with old frozen bred was moving towards her and stopping with a little squeak.

The little girl smiled for the first time since she lost her doll and thanked the rats for their hospitality – but she told them that she had to continue searching her doll and then go back home.

But as if the little rats would knew already they gathered around the little girls feet and kept on pushing and pulling her shoes – as if they wanted to get her to move and follow them. So the little girl stood up, curious as before, and followed the rats which were already heading into an unknown direction.

Although the snow still made it difficult to see she could hear the rats squeaking. They were not walking for long and the little girl started to familiarize with the surroundings, it was indeed her little village, nearly home. She wondered how far she went apart in the first place and sadly reminded herself of her doll. And while she was far away with her doll in her thoughts the rats suddenly turned their squeaking again into chitchat. Pulled out of her thoughts, the little girl looked around and saw the rats surrounding something. As the girl got nearer and nearer she puzzled for a moment…and realized that the rats were surrounding her doll! But not only that, she lost her doll just a few steps away from her home, the house of her parents!

Thankfully and in tears the little girl fell on her knees, thanking every single rat and embracing her doll.

Now at home, the little girl also wanted to do something good for her new friends, so she opened the cellar door for them and waited until every single one was in the warmth of the house with enough to eat for everybody and every rat.

Apocalyptica tut sich mit Nina Hagen zusammen und covered Rammstein's "Seemann".

Also die Kombination gefaellt mir. Wer hoeren will, muss sehen, denn im Netz gibt es den ganzen Clip bei Viva.

Ach ja, am laengsten hat jetzt erstmal gedauert, eine Lyric Seite zu finden, die einem nicht einfach ungefragt ordentlichen Browserscheiss auf die Platte packen will.

Ich bin ja generell der Meinung, dass Menschen mit ner schnottigen Nase und nem Bazillen-Anhang auf 500 Meter erstmal ne Woche zu Hause bleiben sollen anstatt 10 weiteren Menschen die Freuden von Fieber, beschissenem Schlaf und papiertuchblaserei anzutackern.

Und das Argument, dass man wegen so ner kleinen Lappalie jetzt doch echt nicht von der Arbeit wegbleiben sollte, das koennt ihr euch dann auch getrost in den Arsch stecken.

Aber okay, genau die Sorte Leute bekommen ja auch nicht gebacken ihr Windows auf neustem Stand zu halten und knallen dann wohlmoeglich dem IT Department die Ohren voll, wenn sich mal wieder ein "unsichtbarer" Wurm durch das Kabel frisst.

Muss ja auch das IT Department Schuld sein, die haben ja den Computer aufgesetzt.

Ne, echt jetzt, bleibt doch einfach mal daheim, wenn euch der Schnupfen plagt und die Augen schon fast rausquillen, muss man nun echt nicht ins Volk verteilen.

"Wonderful Days are coming," I heard you saying.
"Nice," I thought, "how many does one need?"
You smiled: "One, just one never-ending one".

So habe ich dann irgendwann einmal beschlossen, meinen besten Anzug aus dem Keller zu raeumen. Ebenso die Schuhe, die ich bis jetzt nur einmal angehabt hatte, allerdings ist mir entfallen wann und wieso - egal, wird schon ein Fest voller Freude, Freunde und Augenblicke gewesen sein.
Wird also Zeit mal wieder tanzen zu gehen, jedoch nicht auf meinem Parkett, denn - so sagt man sich - tanzen auf fremden Boden ist vollkommender - man betritt Neuland, sozusagen.